Please bear with me to the end (before judging me!) :)
My husband and I are empty-nesters, and love it. We are also parents to six awesome adult children and a growing number of loveable grandchildren, and live on a lake in Minnesota… so we have a lot of “visitors”, especially in summer.
Our house can go from sixty decibels to double that in a moment’s notice on many weekends. Sometimes the house feels like it’s pulsating with a heartbeat of its own… the grandchildren, TV, grown-ups trying to be heard above it all, barking dogs… and a lot of laughter. And sometimes it can get a little crazy.
The cleaning, food prep, laundry, before/during/after is daunting (and yes, they are all great about helping out!) and I think it's the switch from easy to hectic that gets me every time. I know, it sounds like I'm complaining--and I'm not, because I know that every single piece of effort I just mentioned is worth it. I know that.
But sometimes, when I’m escaping out the door for a quick trip up town for more milk and bread, my feet crunching on dropped cereal on the floor, and scouring the cluttered-with-everything-under-the-sun counter for my car keys, while gingerly handing over a sleeping baby and maneuvering around a sword fight between grand-kids, I find myself breathing a calming sigh of relief in the peace of my car as I head to town.
On the short trip, I appreciate the quiet, already looking forward to crawling into bed that night, even though it might only be 10 a.m. And just as I start to question my sanity, I drive by homes in our small town where I know for a fact, people are sitting inside… all alone. And wishing they had a little chaos and company to fill their lonely days.
And I remember. I think back to years ago when I felt lonely—in a house too-quiet and too-clean. Never again do I want that daily solitude, I remind myself, never again.
I also think of the main character in the book I've written. I made the poor woman so lonely! I killed off all her friends while dragging her through an empty nest and divorce. (Mean of me, I know!) SHE would have loved to be a guest in our chaotic house, reveling in the noise and clutter.
So, give me cereal crunching under my toes, chocolate hand-prints on the windows, endless laundry and total exhaustion. It reminds me I've been blessed with people I care about and am lucky enough to have in my life. Nobody sang it better than Barbra Streisand ~ "People who need people are the luckiest people in the world."
For this upcoming holiday season, my wish for you is this: A little chaos with your cranberries, and maybe a fallen piece of pumpkin pie squished between your toes.
Then I’ll know you've been truly blessed!
What lovely sentiments, Jill!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Amy!
DeleteWonderful, Jill. Thank you. Missing mine right now.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Normandie. I hope you get a chance to see your family over the holidays!
DeleteWow. Now my house seems far too quiet, lol. Enjoy your chaos, and have a wonderful Thanksgiving :)
ReplyDeleteThanks, you too, Kerry! And we also are celebrating Christmas this week with some of our kids, and our youngest is getting married Saturday. So, a hectic week (which explains why I'm a little behind on my CP feedback!)
DeleteAbsolutely LOVE it and my sentiments exactly . The day my house is more like a museum is the day I need to be put out to pasture. Give me little fingerprints on the windows and crumbs between the couch cushions!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Michelle, I enjoy our peace and quiet but wouldn't want it every day - life would be too unfulfilling that way! As generous and helpful as you are, Michelle, I doubt your house will ever be empty! :)
DeleteI was moved by your insight Jill, Far to often we Women struggle between the two. Thanks for the well needed reminder.
ReplyDelete