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Monday, October 6, 2014

Controlling the Control Freak


On any given day I might worry about ten things—nine of which I have absolutely no control over. Yet nothing stops me from trying to "fix" these concerns of mine. I blame my dad.  We could both be professional worriers, if there were such a job.  As it is, we just drive everyone around us, and ourselves, crazy.

I’ve always felt we control our future, to a certain extent, and to sit back and do nothing to help things along, fix things, make them better… will get you nowhere.  So if I want something bad enough, I pretty much give it my all.  I might not get what I want, but I give it my best shot.

Yet things don’t always turn out the way we want, no matter how much gusto we give them. Because we all know the rules:  Life's not fair.  And we better just accept it.  Fine, I say, as I stamp my foot.  And yes, I’m well aware of the Serenity Prayer, in fact I have the part “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change” printed out for myself at home and work.

It doesn’t make it any easier. I'm not big into serenity.  Type A all the way. Give me some problem and my brain becomes like a dogs, focusing on "ball, ball, ball" concentrating on that one thing so hard I might lose sight of the big picture.  Might. 

Because really, I'm smart enough to count my blessings, know that 95% of the world has it wayyyyyy worse than me (and my family), and that life is really pretty damn good.

And I also know when chocolate chip cookies are handed out; they are not all created equal (see me getting revenge on my older brother, photo below). But if it were the other way around, that would be okay.  I know how to bake more.  It's the rest of the uncontrollable nine things on my list I need a little help letting go of. :)

Do you see yourself here?  Are you a worry-wart?  Control freak?  Or are you one of those people who will never die of a heart attack, a go-with-the-flow-no-concerns person?  My husband is one of them.

Which drives me nuts.  Ooh, I need to add that to my Not-Fair-list-of-Things-I-Can't-Control!



6 comments:

  1. I am a control freak and worry wart--both run in my family. But I have mellowed with age and no longer freak out too much about too many things. Maybe I've just forgotten what I was supposed to be worrying about? Lol At least you know you're not alone! :)

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    1. I think control freak and worry-wart genes are somehow related and if we get one passed on to us, we are stuck with the other one too! :)

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  2. Jill, what an appropriate post for me to read today! I'm definitely a Type A personality, a control freak who likes everything 'just so'... and when things don't go according to plan, it can be rather 'difficult' inside my head. That being said, through the years I'm getting better at letting go and letting God. It is what it is, and I can't always control it. Thanks for the inspiration today! ~ Kathleen

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    1. I am getting better about it through the years too, Kathleen, and you definitely have it right - letting go and letting God. I see my dad still want to "fix" everything in life and he's 81 so I don't think it will ever completely go away for me!

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  3. I too am a worry wort and a control freak. Because deep-down, I don't think anyone else can do it as well as I. And I also have my mantras: "This too shall pass when" when things are bad, and "Count your blessings" when things are good. But when those moments happen that we can't control, I just want to scream "if only I could control....." I think that is why we are good writers. We can write, and juggle a family, and go to work, and play nurse-maid to the world. We do it all, because we can. (I am woman, hear me roar.)

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    1. Great point, Joanne, about our writing. We can control what happens to our characters, their outcome, their highs and lows... and in real life, we have to take the bad with the good and if I can "fix" the bad, I'll do whatever I can to do it. That must mean we just don't give up, right? :)

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