Saturday, July 13, 2013

Losing George

So, the news is out--George Clooney is a free man again. It comes as a bit of a shock to me. I was under the impression he and I were still together. Apparently not.

How embarassing to find out about our breakup through the media.

Maybe he found out about my husband? I'm not sure what set him off this time. Next thing you know he'll be walking the red carpet with some young floozy half his age, trying to make me look bad by replacing me with a slightly younger (and likely very high-maintenance) woman.

She will come up short. I mean how can she compete with a mid-western woman who has no problem going a week without makeup, clips coupons, loves to dig in the dirt, considers a meal at McDonalds a "night out", and wears clothes that are ten years old. I saved that man a boat-load of cash. And this is the thanks I get. Public humiliation.

I whined about our breakup the other night to my husband. And got very little sympathy from him. Probably because he and Ashley Judd are apparently still an item.

Just wait until she dumps him. Then he'll be a little more sympathetic.

Until then, I'm turning to you... I'm sure you can relate!


  1. Sorry, Jill, but he's never been on my "wish" list. You can have, Tom Selleck, he's at the top!

    1. I agree about Tom. Although he and I are already technically "almost an item" since he married a gal named Jillian, then named his daughter Hannah... clearly we were meant to be together!